Freedom to be yourself
I remember the days when I couldn’t accept me for who I was. All I saw was what was wrong with me. So many of us believe that we need to be perfect in order to accept ourselves. That usually never happens since perfection is impossible. If you don’t accept yourself with all your shortcomings and things you’d like to change, self-love can’t grow.
When you don’t accept yourself as you are right now, you tend to compensate by being a people pleaser to get acceptance from others. That was me when I was a DoorMat. I couldn’t accept who I was so I looked for acceptance by doing things for others.
I couldn’t imagine that they’d accept me as just me, without the perks. I thought I was too fat, and my penis was just too small, I didn't feel I was a man. This belief kept me as a doormat for many years.
What I later recognized is that buying acceptance, by doing favors and being agreeable and overly accommodating didn’t really get me accepted in any way. People liked what I did for them, that wasn't the problem, when I did what they wanted I never saw them again till they needed another favor.
Thankfully I woke up to the reality that I needed to accept myself before other people truly could.
Self-acceptance frees you to live in your own light, not in the light of others. It allows you the freedom of choice based on what YOU want, not on what others want for or from you. Most important, self-acceptance frees your soul and opens you up to being able to love yourself.
Until you accept yourself in your own imperfect skin, right now as you are, it will be a dark shadow over your ability to love yourself. I had to accept and love myself to move on in life.
I accepted myself from the inside out, instead of looking at the outside and ignoring the rest.
The bottom line is that you can’t trade yourself in for a new one. The YOU you are right now is who will always be with you. You might lose or gain weight. One year might be less lucrative at work than another. But it’s still part of you. Hating yourself for having flaws makes you unhappy. Aren’t you still a kind, ethical person? Do you have a good heart? Are you friendly to people? Those are all the kinds of qualities to feel good about but we let what we don’t like overshadow them. Accepting yourself as you are from the inside out allows you to appreciate and accept yourself more. That helps self-love to flourish.
When you start to accept yourself, you can also start to make your own choices and stop going overboard to please others. When I began to accept myself, I felt excited, like the world opened up and my possibilities were endless. It didn’t happen overnight but slowly I began to accept myself more and more and life seemed brighter, it opened my eyes to how good life can be.
So what does it take to be truly free? If you want to live on your own terms and do as you please, you must give up the following 5 things.
1. Give up the Lies & Negativity.
2. Give up the Comfort
3. Give up the Fear of money
4. Give up the Incompatible People
Make it matter. Stop, listen, rest. Decide what you’re really about.